Discernments about making big changes in our lives, such as discerning our vocation, changing jobs, or moving across country, are best made when they are coming from a place of relative peace in our lives. This is true because we can best hear God’s invitation when we have a certain amount of serenity. For example, if our life is so chaotic that we can’t make time for prayer and we are deeply distressed and unhappy, it might be hard to discern our vocation because we cannot get past our own inner turmoil to be able to hear how God is calling us.
It’s not that our lives have to be perfect or happy for us to discern well, but the best discernments often presuppose a certain foundational security/freedom. Otherwise, we may think we are discerning, but actually we are simply trying to survive and running from our pain.
Sometimes crises include with them a call from God to make an immediate and big change in our lives. But sometimes crises are times when we need to “sort through” the meaning of the crises and its effects on our lives before we can discern making a big change in our lives.
Tragedy can include within it a call from God in which God invites us to something more. Certain difficult or painful events, like the death of a loved one, change our lives forever. We may need to take time to discover what these painful events mean for us before we can start to discern another big change. Losing a job can become a crisis when it happens in a way that’s unfair, unexpected, and financially unmanageable.
If we find ourselves in crisis, in a place of unmitigated darkness, turmoil, and chaos, God may be inviting us through this darkness to grow in our relationship with him. When we are calmer, having had some time to resolve some of the distress and immediate challenges that the crisis precipitated, we may have the focus and freedom we need to begin a larger discernment, even if we are still in a time of suffering and desolation. When we are going through a crisis or a deep spiritual darkness, a spiritual director is a valuable guide who can help us decide whether this is the time to discern a big decision in our lives, or whether it might be better to wait.
Below is a beautiful reflection that can be very helpful during a time of discouragement or desolation. This reflection is taken from a book I highly recommend: Secrets of the Spirit: Wisdom from Luis Martinez, edited and with a foreword by Germana Santos, FSP, published by Pauline Books & Media.
Another online resource you may want to check out is this article that briefly describes how Saint Ignatius of Loyola recommends dealing with desolation.
Meditation on God’s Action in Our Lives
by Servant of God Archbishop Luis Martinez
I have a special place in the thought of God. I occupy a post of honor in his heart. I am the unique object of his providence and his action. God is singularly present in my life and in my soul. God is for me a God present and hidden. Not for a single instant does the action of God fail to touch me—not only his power that preserves and moves all creatures, but more especially, his exceedingly gentle action that keeps guiding me along unknown paths toward my perfection and happiness.
I do not understand how much God loves me nor how immense, constant, and active is the love he has for me. Not for one instant does he fail to draw me toward himself with the force of his love of predilection. My life is God’s work, my life with its alternations of joy and grief, fear and hope, activity and rest, and with all its variable and innumerable circumstances. It is the fruit of his love. God foresees everything in my life, and he directs and disposes of it for my good. Only when I separate myself from him by sin does my life cease to be the fruit of his action. Yet God permits even my faults, then returns to convert me and to repair the damage caused by sin.
Beneath all external happenings, God is always present and hidden. Joy and sorrow are equally God’s messengers coming to accomplish in my soul the work of his love. They are instruments of his action, veils that cover his presence. If only I would continue to discover this God hidden in my own life! If I would always let myself be led by his gentle hand, my life would be his action, my soul, a temple, and I, a saint. – Secrets of the Spirit: Wisdom from Luis Martinez, edited & foreword by Germana Santos, FSP