Spiritual Life

The Story of God’s Saving Love

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 2 Comments

Young Preschooler Reading A BookI love stories. I can’t remember how old I was when I finally started to read “real books” on my own (readers with big type weren’t “real” books), but once I started, I couldn’t stop. One summer, my mom got so tired of telling me to stop reading and go play with my brothers and sisters, that she made a rule: I could read only one book a day. I was devastated until I decided that I would live according to the spirit (not the letter) of the rule: I would read only two books a day. I’m sure some bibliophiles will understand that this compromise was still a big sacrifice for me.

But my love for stories is not the only reason I chose to look at discernment through the lens of storytelling. Storytelling is a helpful framework for exploring discernment because we often see patterns in our lives as stories. We seek to give meaning to the events in our lives by looking at them as part of a larger story. While it’s possible to see our days and weeks as if they are made up of discrete, disconnected events, when we step back to look over our lives, we group different events together, giving them a context or a framework that connects them to a larger purpose or meaning: the story of our lives.

When I first started studying theology, I was impressed that my teachers would repeatedly talk about the centuries of biblical times as salvation history. With eyes of faith, the history of the world—the World’s Story—must also be salvation history, and I think we will recognize in heaven that all of earth’s history is one big revelation of God’s saving love for all humanity. And all of our unique and individual stories will fit within the overarching Story of God’s saving love.

* * *

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To Journal:

Do I intuitively look at my life as a story?

How do I see events in my daily life? As random, fragmented, disconnected events? Or as a series of events that are leading towards something? Why?

New Discernment@theMovies Guide: Amazing Grace

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

MV5BMTI5MTkxMDA4M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjA4Mjg0MQ@@._V1._SY317_An inspiring and wonderful film to watch in its own right, Amazing Grace (2007, directed by Michael Apted, written by Steven Knight and starring Ioan Gruffud) is also a wonderful portrayal of discernment. Amazing Grace is based on the true story of  the struggle of William Wilberforce to abolish slavery in England, and is an inspiring watch at any time, but particularly so with Lent with its multi-layered theme of overcoming slavery. The guide is now posted up on the Discerning@theMovies Page.  Enjoy!

Soul of Christ Book Tour Continues: St. Louis, MO

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

I’m visiting St. Louis, MO, for the next 10 days, to teach some classes and talk about the Eucharist and the Anima Christi prayer. If you are in the area, I’d love to see you at one of the following events! (If you’d like more details about any of the events, just give the Pauline Books & Media Center a call.)

Soul of ChristflyerStLouis

Spiritual Direction

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 3 Comments

Another way to help us to listen to God in our prayer and in our lives is to seek out spiritual direction. Speaking regularly to a spiritual director is a time-honored practice, especially when someone is discerning their vocation, making a major life-choice, or a week-long retreat.

How can a spiritual director help us? Ideally, a spiritual director accompanies us on our journey, helping us to recognize God’s action and invitation in our lives. As we share our prayer and experiences with a spiritual director, the director helps us to understand more clearly how God is speaking to us in our prayer and our lives. The more honest we are, the more insight the spiritual director can offer to us. An essential part of spiritual direction is our openness about our lives and what is happening interiorly. At first, it can be difficult or feel awkward to speak about our spiritual lives, our deeper thoughts and feelings, and what happens in our prayer life, but it is important to be open with a spiritual director.

Finding a good spiritual director can take time but is worthwhile. Here are some characteristics to look for in a spiritual director:

—Approachable—someone you can honestly speak to

–Available–a spiritual director only has time to meet with so many directees, and in many places, spiritual directors are in short supply. If a spiritual director tells you that they are not available right now, or it becomes too difficult to arrange a meeting, it is probable that they are already directing too many people to fit in another person. You can ask them for a recommendation for another director.

—A good listener—a good spiritual director offers guidance and direction, but most often listens to our experiences and then points us towards what is significant about that experience

—Spiritual experience and maturity—someone who is faithful in living their faith, is proficient at prayer, and growing in their own spiritual life. Ideally, a spiritual director has significant experience in the spiritual life and also training in spiritual direction.

—Accompanies rather than leads.

How can we find a good spiritual director?

  • Look for a priest whose homilies or personal conversations you find helpful. (Parish pastors can often be too busy to offer spiritual direction, but sometimes an associate pastor may be available.)
  • Ask for a recommendation from your pastor or another priest you trust.
  • Call a Catholic retreat house and ask for recommended spiritual directors in your area.
  • Make a retreat and follow up with the retreat director, or with someone the retreat director recommends.
  • Connect with a religious community that offers spiritual direction: Jesuits, Benedictines, Oblates, etc.

Having a good spiritual director accompany us on our spiritual journey helps us to learn the principles of the spiritual life, recognize God’s unexpected action in our lives, avoid obstacles and self-deception, and go beyond being stuck in a rut or discouragement. However, while finding a good spiritual director to be very helpful, our true Spiritual Director is Jesus Christ, who guides us in hidden ways through the action of the Holy Spirit. And Jesus is always with us, guiding us.

Friday Discernment Q & A: What’s It Like To Enter a Convent?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

For those of you who have sent in questions, thank you for your patience! For now, Friday will be a Q & A day. Feel free to email me your questions, or contact me through the blog’s contact page.

530am Beach and Sunrise 049A young woman who was recently accepted into a community and will enter the convent in nine months asked the following.

“I’m interested in any tips or stories you have for either of these two things: 1. the upcoming months of saying goodbye/getting rid of material things/getting increasingly excited and probably lots of other emotions  (I bet there are some good stories here!) and 2. what does discernment look like once you’re in the convent? I’m sure it’s different for each community and individual but it’s just been interesting taking this ‘big step’ but also knowing that God could just be calling me to the convent for a time (though I do think He is calling me forever). Is it normal to assume that I’ll be there forever, or do you think there’s prudence in speaking of it as ‘the next step’ on a long journey?  I’ve just been curious about that…how does one look at the vocation once they’ve been accepted or once they’re in the order?”

Congratulations on your acceptance! You will be in my prayers—and I suspect in the prayers of all those who read this post. Since you asked a few different questions, I’ll split my answer into two parts.

The months between acceptance and entrance into a religious congregation are just as you describe: a whirlwind of emotions. For me, I experienced the dizzying joy of God’s profound love for me in inviting me to take the next step toward an exclusive, spousal relationship with him; I was also looking forward to an adventure that would be filled with the support of a loving community. Overall, I had so enjoyed visiting the sisters that at the end of each visit when it came time to go home, I didn’t want to leave. A couple people told me that after I’d made the decision to enter, they could see me “glow,” I was so happy. (A funny footnote here: I was so thrilled to enter that I actually became excited when my mom and I bought the un-stylish black “nun” shoes I was supposed to wear as a postulant. Definitely not the kind of shoe I was used to wearing.)

Alternating with the incredible joy, I experienced great fear: fear of the unknown; fear of the sacrifices I knew I’d be making, fear of being asked to do something I didn’t enjoy or couldn’t do, fear that I might not “measure up” to being a religious and the expectations of the sisters.

In addition to my fears, I very much dreaded the separation from my family. Until I made the decision to enter, I shared my discernment journey with just a few close family members. Telling my family that I was entering the convent was not easy. Almost everyone was supportive, but a couple of times I was surprised by remonstrances or regrets from a close family member–someone I’d been sure would understand. While I didn’t expect everyone to be supportive, it was harder than I expected when someone close to me didn’t understand or agree with my decision.

In looking back in those months before I entered, two things gave me great joy and/or peace:

  • In discerning my vocation and in the aftermath of experiencing such a strong joy and peace by which God confirmed my decision to enter, God communicated such tremendous love for me that it was easier to trust that God would be with me every step of my journey. The whole experience of being called and so greatly loved really strengthened me through my fears. (And this joy has continued to be strengthen me throughout my journey as a sister.)
  • My greatest fear and source of suffering before I entered the convent was leaving my family. My vocation director encouraged me to remember two things: a) Leaving home was part of growing up, so eventually I would leave home even if I didn’t enter the convent now; and b) God would take care of my family better than I could, and our love would continue to grow. It helped that I knew that my congregation encourages us to stay in touch with our families, to call and write regularly. Now, with the internet that’s even easier. I truly believe that God blesses my sacrifice of leaving my family to dedicate my life to him by sending special blessings on my loved ones.

In many ways, my vocation to become a sister has shaped my relationships with my loved ones. Especially when I’m sent to carry out our mission in a place far away from my family, my less-frequent visits home become very focused and conversations can go deep—we talk about the important things because we may not have the luxury of another long conversation for a while. So, despite often living far from my family and missing the daily details, I’ve still been able to stay close.

Coincidence or God?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

If God speaks to us in all these ways, how do we know when it’s God speaking to us, and when it’s just coincidence?

  • For a person of faith, there are no coincidences, only Providence. Providence can be defined as God acting in our world, in our lives. It doesn’t mean that every circumstance of our life is a direct call from God, but the overall circumstances of our lives are an important context in which we are called to listen and to act.When someone is a good writer, there are no coincidences in the stories they write. If it’s included in the story, it serves a purpose for the overall story. Likewise in God’s story for us, there are no coincidences. But sometimes we may need to pray with what an event means before we understand it; sometimes we may not understand God’s purpose until years later; sometimes we may need to simply trust in God’s loving purpose for us.
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Nurse Reading to a Little GIrl by Mary Cassatt (Public Domain)

We cannot limit how God speaks to us; rather, we want to use all the resources we have at our disposal to listen. God gave us intelligence, a heart with the potential to be compassionate, the community in which we live and work, mentors or wise people in our lives, our gifts and limitations, and our circumstances, in addition to faith and the gift of prayer… Just as God will use all of these to communicate his love, to draw us to himself, and to invite us to live our mission, God wants  us to use our heads as well as our hearts, the advice of mentors as well as self-knowledge, to listen to him.

  • Many of us share the same circumstances, but the call or invitation from God can be different for each person. For example on a city street, dozens of people pass a homeless person. One person may be called to pray for that person; another to offer a kind greeting or a smile, or to initiate a conversation; another to offer a sandwich or a hot coffee; another person may be called to start volunteering at a soup kitchen; another person may be called to donate more generously; another person may be called to be grateful for the gift of a home. The truth is that probably every person who passes someone who is homeless on the street is called to do something, but it requires discernment to discover what.
  • Just as a writer “listens” to everything in his or her life to inform the story that he or she is writing, so we are called to be attentive to our entire lives to discover God’s presence, action, and invitations, so that the “plot” of our life follows God’s lead.

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To Journal:

At the end of each day this week, take a quiet moment at the end of one day to look back over your day with this question: How did God reveal his presence and his love to you today?

Listening to the Word of God: Lectio Divina guide

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

IMG_0005A wonderful way of listening to the Lord—and perhaps one of the first that we should practice—is praying with the Bible. For the past fifty years, the Church has encouraged all Catholics to re-discover lectio divina, a particular way of praying with the Bible that has its roots in the third century (with Origen specifically encouraging it as the way to read Scripture), and then later in the early monastic communities (especially the Benedictines). Lectio divina continued to be practiced through the ages by monastic communities, but in his Apostolic Exhortation Verbum Domini, Pope Benedict XVI highly encourages all of us to do lectio divina. Why? Because lectio divina is “capable of opening up to the faithful the treasures of God’s word, but also of bringing about an encounter with Christ, the living word of God.” (Scroll down to #87 for Pope Benedict’s description of how to do lectio.)

Traditionally, lectio divina has four steps, but Pope Benedict recommended adding a fifth without which lectio divina wouldn’t be complete. (There are other methods of lectio divina that have developed over time, too, but here we’ll stay with the traditional structure.) The five-step structure isn’t meant to be rigidly followed; rather, it’s meant to help us to engage with the Word of God with our whole being. It’s important when praying to follow where the Holy Spirit leads us; if we are drawn to stay or “rest” on one step during our prayer, that’s what we should do!

Here is a very short guide to making lectio divina, inspired by Pope Benedict’s short description in Verbum Domini and my own experience of prayer.

*To prepare, set aside some quiet time for prayer, and choose a Scripture passage. If you are new to lectio divina, a passage from the Gospels is a good place to start. Choosing the Gospel reading from Sunday or daily Mass can often be helpful.

Step 1. Lectio (Reading). Read the passage slowly and reflectively, listening attentively. What is the biblical text saying? 

Step 2. Meditatio (Meditation). Re-read the passage a second time, asking the question, What does the biblical text say to me in my circumstances? Listen especially for a particular word or phrase that strikes you more than the others—perhaps a word resonates with you; perhaps a sentence raises a question or even some disquiet. Let that word or phrase enter deep into your awareness and then reflect on it: why does this word appeal to me or disturb me? How is the Lord speaking to me?

Step 3. Oratio (Prayer). Speak to God about what is happening inside of you as you spend time with his Word. Prayer is a dialogue with God, and this is where you can respond to God’s Word. Perhaps the Word of God is comforting you—thank God for his comfort and strength. If the Word is challenging you or raising questions in you, ask God for the grace to understand and live his Word.

Step 4. Contemplatio (Contemplation). Contemplation is a time to take on God’s way of seeing. As you rest under God’s loving gaze, ask the Lord how he is inviting you to convert. What needs to change in your mind, will, life?

Step 5. Actio (Action) Take the Word of God with you back into your daily life. You can live the Word of God in your day by choosing to take on an attitude or particular action in the spirit of the invitation God extended to you as you prayed with the Scripture passage. 

The guided lectios provided on this blot are meant to help those who are just beginning with lectio divina. If  you choose to pray with them, I encourage you to go back later and pray with the Scripture passages on your own, using the above simple guide.

Bumpy Start to Lent

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

This year, I’ve had a bumpy start to Lent. A couple of things came up that completely threw off my schedule and distracted me from the beauty and invitations that are inherent to Ash Wednesday and the first few days of Lent. These distractions also prevented me from blogging here. Today, after I post this, I’ll also put up a post about lectio divina, since praying with the Word of God is one of the best things we can do when we are discerning the Lord’s invitations in our life.

If you’ve also had a bumpy start to your Lent, know that you’ve probably got lots of company. (At the very least, it’s the two of us!) For me, the important thing about Lent–and about the spiritual life–is that God, in his mercy, invites us to convert and to draw close to himself over and over again. We may become impatient with ourselves and with our failures and distractions, but the Lord–who knows us better than we know ourselves–remains faithful. In the Gospel, Jesus is so patient with his often-clueless apostles–he never gives up on them! Every time we decide to do better and we renew our intentions to follow his invitations, we surrender ourselves into his hands. Especially after we have failed, this is a gift we can offer him–the gift of our trust in his love and mercy. I think this gift is precious to him.

So, whatever bumps in the road you have already joggled over these first few days of Lent, entrust them to Jesus and start anew today. If you’ve already decided what you’re doing for Lent, renew your intention and continue on. If you’ve kind of “missed” the first few days of Lent, that’s okay. Jesus is holding out his hand to you today, inviting you to draw closer to him.

Below is a beautiful prayer with which to begin your Lent:

Listening to Our “Silent” Co-Author

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 1 Comment

02E choice 2How do we listen to God’s voice when for most of us most of the time, God seems silent? How do we partner with a silent Co-Author?

We may experience God as silent, but God does communicate with us. We may need to learn to listen better, but we also may need to learn to understand how God speaks to us, and recognize when God is speaking. Each of us has a unique relationship with God, but there are also common ways in which God communicates with us.

If we look at the Bible, how does God communicate to his People?

  • Directly to the heart—sometimes in prayer, sometimes through intuition, sometimes in words
  • Through Divine Revelation: through his Word and the teaching of the Church
  • Through silence
  • Through other people (God sends prophets or other people to communicate his love, his warnings, and his invitations)
  • Through the beauty and power of nature (for one example, see Psalm 8)
  • Through the community, most especially through the community of the Church (the Acts of the Apostles is full of examples)
  • Through wise mentors
  • Through the needs of others
  • Through the ordinary circumstances of our lives
  • And sometimes through the extraordinary: visions/appearances/dreams/miracles (Sometimes we may experience a miracle but not recognize it as miraculous.)

God speaks to us today, in our own lives. How am I listening?

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To Journal About

  • How does God communicate with me?
  • When have I heard God “speaking” to me?

The Co-Author Relationship: God and I

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 3 Comments

Sunset at AssosDiscernment doesn’t happen in a vacuum, but in the context of our relationship with God. Discerning God’s will only makes sense if we have or seek a vibrant relationship with God. Whether we are trying to discern a major life choice, or live in greater conformity to God’s will, the best way to grow in that relationship and to become attuned to God’s voice is to spend time in prayer.

The title of this blog pushes this foundational principle a bit further: that we believe that God co-authors our life with us! If we believe that the Holy Spirit is directing our life, that God and I are “writing” our life story together, then it becomes even more important to spend time with God. Any time spent in prayer is important, but a quieter, more contemplative approach to  prayer will help us to learn how to listen to God in the light of God’s saving love. (More about listening in prayer later.)

One of the challenges of the Christian life is a temptation to try to earn God’s love, rather than trusting in God’s love. We don’t want to allow our discernment to be colored by this temptation. A true partnership, being a true “co-author” is a relationship of trust. Doing God’s will is not about proving ourselves, nor about trying to control our life and relationships. Instead, truly seeking to do God’s will is being like Mary, whose “yes” to God came from her ongoing relationship with God. At the Annunciation, Mary recognized God’s Lordship in her life, but she also recognized that her consent and her love were essential in collaborating with God’s salvific plan. She could only say “yes” the way she did precisely because of her relationship with God. Mary trusted God completely: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord.”

When we truly seek to live God’s will, we recognize that this includes growing in our relationship with God. A true attitude of discernment allows God to take the lead, to set the parameters to our story, and to invite us deeper into the great adventure of our life.

Pen_UncappedTo Journal About:

  • How would I describe my relationship with God?