Consecrated Life

How Are You Celebrating the Year of Consecrated Life?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

CTVlogoSo much has been going on, I’m taking a quick break from my regular discernment post to share some of the good news:

We are so blessed to have been invited by Catholic TV to come in for a show about the Year of Consecrated Life, and what we’re doing to celebrate it (and our centenary year of the founding of the Daughters of Saint Paul).

http://www.catholictv.com/shows/this-is-the-day/consecrated-life-daughters-saint-paul

Sr. Marianne Lorraine Trouvé talks about the anniversary edition of arguably the most beautiful document on religious life: Vita Consecrata by St. John Paul II, and I talk about our centenary year and all the great things we’re doing for the 100th “birthday” of the Daughters of Saint Paul–100 years of media evangelization, 100 years of living and communicating Christ, our Way, Truth, and Life! Here are a few–a comprehensive list will go up on our www.pauline.org website soon!

BOSTON AREA

  • World Communications Day Mass for communication arts professionals in the New England area on May 17, 2015, at our convent chapel here in Boston with CatholicTV’s own Father Robert Reed: www.pauline.org/WCDMass
  • Centenary Mass of Thanksgiving on June 14, 2015, with Cardinal Séan O’Malley at St. Theresa of Avila Parish in West Roxbury, MA. (RSVPs requested at: fspcentenary@gmail.com

NEW YORK AREA

  • Day of Recollection and Centenary Mass of Thanksgiving on the afternoon and evening of Saturday, June 6, at Holy Family Parish, New York, NY. (Email me if you’re interested in more information.)

ONLINE & MEDIA

DiscernItIcon_largerI was privileged to help in a small way with developing our Discern It! App, which we created for discerners for this Year of Consecrated Life. I’ve mentioned it here before, but on the show I have a chance to show a few screenshots and explain how helpful it can be–not just as a novena for when someone is at the beginning of their vocational discernment, but also for helping them through some of the most challenging moments of their discernment, with wise advice offered:

  • from the Scripture
  • from sisters’ experience of how Jesus speaks to us in prayer
  • from journaling and follow-up prompts
  • from your prayer and time with Jesus
  • from audio clips from wise vocations director, Sr. Margaret Michael

The Discern It! App offers real accompaniment for anyone discerning their vocation, and it’s free to download and use–for iOS and Android. 

 

final_ycl_logo_en_newOur interview ended with a request for our thoughts on the Year of Consecrated Life. Personally, I want to make this year a year of gratitude to God for the gift of my vocation as a consecrated religious. I also want to use it:

  • as an opportunity to thank the sisters, brothers, and priests who so generously make a gift of themselves in religious consecration
  • a time to focus my prayer for young people: that this year highlighting religious life will encourage young people to be open to God’s call to the religious life
  • a way to encourage parents and others who will encourage young people to consider religious life as a real possibility for their future

Living Our Vocation “to the Full”

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment
"The Good Shepherd" by Joseph Ritter von Führich, c. 1840

“The Good Shepherd” by Joseph Ritter von Führich, c. 1840

Yesterday, “Good Shepherd” Sunday, was the World Day of Prayer for Vocations. If you are discerning your vocation, I hope that you could feel the support of the Church’s prayers for you, lifting you up from all over the world!

Pope Francis offered a really beautiful reflection for the day in his Message for the 52nd World Day of Prayer for Vocations.  One of the coolest things about it is that he describes “vocation” in such a dynamic way, comparing the living of our vocation with the exodus experience. Thus, Pope Francis’ message for the World Day of Prayer for Vocations isn’t just for those discerning their vocations, but an invitation for all of us to live the gift of our vocations fully. I’d like to share three points that particularly struck me and that I’ve been praying with:

 

Following One’s Vocation (whether for the first time, or as a renewal of our commitment): 

Belief means transcending ourselves, leaving behind our comfort and the inflexibility of our ego in order to centre our life in Jesus Christ. It means leaving, like Abraham, our native place and going forward with trust, knowing that God will show us the way to a new land.

Living One’s Vocation “To the Full”:

The exodus experience is paradigmatic of the Christian life, particularly in the case of those who have embraced a vocation of special dedication to the Gospel. This calls for a constantly renewed attitude of conversion and transformation, an incessant moving forward, a passage from death to life like that celebrated in every liturgy, an experience of passover…. Vocation is always a work of God. He leads us beyond our initial situation, frees us from every enslavement, breaks down our habits and our indifference, and brings us to the joy of communion with him and with our brothers and sisters. Responding to God’s call, then, means allowing him to help us leave ourselves and our false security behind, and to strike out on the path which leads to Jesus Christ, the origin and destiny of our life and our happiness.

The Model for Every Vocation:

The Virgin Mary, model of every vocation, did not fear to utter her “fiat” in response to the Lord’s call. She is at our side and she guides us. With the generous courage born of faith, Mary sang of the joy of leaving herself behind and entrusting to God the plans she had for her life. Let us turn to her, so that we may be completely open to what God has planned for each one of us, so that we can grow in the desire to go out with tender concern towards others (cf. Lk1:39).  

If you can, go and read the entire message here. It’s not just beautiful, but challenging and encouraging, reminding us that the Christian vocation is to love, and that living the fullness of the Gospel message does not limit us but leads us to the fullest possible freedom. I also was struck by his comparing each Christian’s vocation to the Exodus experience, because in doing so, Pope Francis is indirectly validating the “storytelling” lens that I’m using on this blog to talk about discernment!

Discernment in Images: Entrusting Self to God

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

Discernment quote 4This is one of my very favorite insights into discernment: we trust God because God–in Christ–first trusts us! Discernment: a relationship of love, trust, and freedom.

 

Blessed Easter! I have taken this week away from this blog to catch up on another project for our centenary year (yes, 2015 is the 100th anniversary of the foundation of the Daughters of Saint Paul!), but I’ll be back next week. Thanks for your patience.

In the meantime, Sr. Margaret Michael Gillis, vocation director for the Daughters of Saint Paul in the USA and Canada, offers a two-minute audio reflection about discerning religious life here.

 

Friday Q & A: Should I delay entering religious life when I feel called?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

Here are a couple of great questions from another young woman discerning her vocation to religious life:

“It’s been a year since I discovered my call to religious life, and even though I’ve had a few ups and downs, It has mainly been all the time upwards, and I’ve been maturing the idea, thinking it through and everything seemed to work out well.

The things I have to discern about are mainly two. Firstly, I was thinking of entering a congregation next summer (2015) once I was 18. But my family has advised me and asked If I could delay it one or two years in order to be able to experience and live those first years of university outside of the congregation, in a “normal lifestyle”. I am really looking forward to entering and I’m not sure what I should do, experience life and “freedom” and then enter into a congregation or start straight away. It’s something I’m trying to discern. The next decision I have to make is which congregation apply to; the school I’m in is run by nuns, and I’ve always thought that I would like to be one of them…but lately I’ve been wondering if It’s the correct decision or I should look for another one. I like their mission and how they work, I also like the nuns; on the other hand sometimes I feel I don’t agree in certain aspects with them and It would be difficult for me to follow their instructions.

I would really appreciate if you could throw some light into those decisions and help me understand what God wants me to do. Any advice on how to listen to his call and his plans for me would be great.”

First of all, I just want to thank you for your courage in seeking to do God’s will in your life, and I encourage you to continue to be open to the Lord as he calls you!

With regard to your first question about whether to enter after you turn 18 or wait a year or two, there is wisdom in doing both, so it really depends on how God is inviting you in the concrete circumstances of your life. Obviously, if you have already gone through a significant discernment process, and both the community and you feel that God is inviting you to take the next step to enter the community, that is definitely the best choice.

But a significant discernment process requires a number of elements, just a few of which I’ll list here:

  • Taking the time to prayerfully discern God’s will in a way that you are not rushed or pressured. Above all, this means sufficient maturity, interior freedom from expectations, pressures, etc., and freedom from external pressures (such as financial, security, etc.)
  • Accompaniment by a spiritual director
  • A full understanding of what religious life entails
  • Dialogue (or discussion) with close family and friends
  • Discerning which community you are going to enter—which usually means visiting at least two other communities besides the one you plan to enter
  • Getting to know the community you are planning to enter well with (ideally) several live-in experiences of a weekend to a week—not just for you to get to know them, but for them to get to know you.
  • After making a decision, taking the time to evaluate it and continue to pray with it.

This can take six months…but it can also take two or three years. It requires an attentiveness not just to external events, but to the ways the Holy Spirit is working within the person discerning.

Since we are seeking God’s will in our discernment, if we truly discover it is God’s will that we enter sooner rather than waiting a year, then that is best.  But there are good reasons to wait for a year or even two:

  • To make sure our discernment isn’t rushed; to more fully understand and purify our own motivations so that our decision is fully free
  • To journey with our family and friends in our discernment when possible, so that they can be at peace and continue to support us on our journey
  • To be ready for the transition and challenges that we will face as we enter religious life
  • To discern well to which community we are called, and to get to know it well. (We are not called to “generic” religious life, but to a particular community. If we only visit one community, we may not realize whether the attraction is for religious life in general, or for that particular community.)
  • To grow in maturity to be ready to give a fuller gift of ourselves when we enter

Growing in maturity can include living certain life experiences. For example, if a young person has just turned 18 and has led a very sheltered life and never lived away from home nor had any experience in ministry, that might be a situation where gaining some life experience would enrich her discernment or clarify it (e.g. spend a year studying or working, being more involved in her parish or another form of ministry). This is not so that she experiences the “freedom” of doing her own thing, but so that her discernment is colored less by a decision to leave home for the first time and more about how God is calling her. But it depends on each young person’s circumstances. I entered the convent as a teenager with relatively little life experience and I have no regrets: I was eager to get started in my new life! But I know others whose time after entrance would have been easier if they had waited a year to enter. Every situation and every person is unique. And the requirements of each community are different as well. The important question is: How might God be inviting you through your circumstances?

We’re always seeking God’s will…and if we’re not sure of the course of action, it can be wiser not to rush in. But when we are discerning a big step such as entering religious life, we also want to make sure that we’re not using a good reason as an excuse to delay.

For your second question about which community to apply to, I think answering that question may influence the length of time you feel you need to discern. You could be called to the community which has taught you for years; but it’s also possible that you are simply drawn to their goodness and consecration, and you need to find the community to which God is calling you.

A lot of information is available online about different communities’ missions and spiritualities. (For those in the USA, www.vocationnetwork.org is a great resource for many communities! For those in Canada, www.vocations.ca is a great online resource.) You might want to spend some time browsing these sites and see where it leads you. Pick a few communities that attract you and research them. Email them with questions you have. Then, when you’ve narrowed your choices down, make arrangements to visit a couple of them—I’d recommend at least two; perhaps even three. Every religious community is made up of human beings—none of them are perfect!—so what you’re looking for is a community where you feel at home, living a lifestyle where you feel God is calling you to follow him more closely.

I hope this is helpful! You will be very much in my prayers as you continue your discernment!

Friday Discernment Q & A: What’s It Like To Enter a Convent?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

For those of you who have sent in questions, thank you for your patience! For now, Friday will be a Q & A day. Feel free to email me your questions, or contact me through the blog’s contact page.

530am Beach and Sunrise 049A young woman who was recently accepted into a community and will enter the convent in nine months asked the following.

“I’m interested in any tips or stories you have for either of these two things: 1. the upcoming months of saying goodbye/getting rid of material things/getting increasingly excited and probably lots of other emotions  (I bet there are some good stories here!) and 2. what does discernment look like once you’re in the convent? I’m sure it’s different for each community and individual but it’s just been interesting taking this ‘big step’ but also knowing that God could just be calling me to the convent for a time (though I do think He is calling me forever). Is it normal to assume that I’ll be there forever, or do you think there’s prudence in speaking of it as ‘the next step’ on a long journey?  I’ve just been curious about that…how does one look at the vocation once they’ve been accepted or once they’re in the order?”

Congratulations on your acceptance! You will be in my prayers—and I suspect in the prayers of all those who read this post. Since you asked a few different questions, I’ll split my answer into two parts.

The months between acceptance and entrance into a religious congregation are just as you describe: a whirlwind of emotions. For me, I experienced the dizzying joy of God’s profound love for me in inviting me to take the next step toward an exclusive, spousal relationship with him; I was also looking forward to an adventure that would be filled with the support of a loving community. Overall, I had so enjoyed visiting the sisters that at the end of each visit when it came time to go home, I didn’t want to leave. A couple people told me that after I’d made the decision to enter, they could see me “glow,” I was so happy. (A funny footnote here: I was so thrilled to enter that I actually became excited when my mom and I bought the un-stylish black “nun” shoes I was supposed to wear as a postulant. Definitely not the kind of shoe I was used to wearing.)

Alternating with the incredible joy, I experienced great fear: fear of the unknown; fear of the sacrifices I knew I’d be making, fear of being asked to do something I didn’t enjoy or couldn’t do, fear that I might not “measure up” to being a religious and the expectations of the sisters.

In addition to my fears, I very much dreaded the separation from my family. Until I made the decision to enter, I shared my discernment journey with just a few close family members. Telling my family that I was entering the convent was not easy. Almost everyone was supportive, but a couple of times I was surprised by remonstrances or regrets from a close family member–someone I’d been sure would understand. While I didn’t expect everyone to be supportive, it was harder than I expected when someone close to me didn’t understand or agree with my decision.

In looking back in those months before I entered, two things gave me great joy and/or peace:

  • In discerning my vocation and in the aftermath of experiencing such a strong joy and peace by which God confirmed my decision to enter, God communicated such tremendous love for me that it was easier to trust that God would be with me every step of my journey. The whole experience of being called and so greatly loved really strengthened me through my fears. (And this joy has continued to be strengthen me throughout my journey as a sister.)
  • My greatest fear and source of suffering before I entered the convent was leaving my family. My vocation director encouraged me to remember two things: a) Leaving home was part of growing up, so eventually I would leave home even if I didn’t enter the convent now; and b) God would take care of my family better than I could, and our love would continue to grow. It helped that I knew that my congregation encourages us to stay in touch with our families, to call and write regularly. Now, with the internet that’s even easier. I truly believe that God blesses my sacrifice of leaving my family to dedicate my life to him by sending special blessings on my loved ones.

In many ways, my vocation to become a sister has shaped my relationships with my loved ones. Especially when I’m sent to carry out our mission in a place far away from my family, my less-frequent visits home become very focused and conversations can go deep—we talk about the important things because we may not have the luxury of another long conversation for a while. So, despite often living far from my family and missing the daily details, I’ve still been able to stay close.

Discernment: a Matter of Trust & Retreat with #MediaNuns

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

 

Discernment quote 4

One of my favorite quotes about discernment from Father Rupnik’s book, Discernment: Acquiring the Heart of God, reminding us that discernment is all about trust: discovering that God first trusts us, and then entrusting ourselves to God to lead us.

 

And for young women looking for an opportunity to discern with my wonderful community, the Daughters of Saint Paul, known on Twitter as #MediaNuns, this is a shout-out for our  Holy Week Retreat that will be held at our large convent in Boston, MA:
HolyWeek2015Ad

God’s Story for Us

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

01A choice 2 (me)Oops! There’s a catch there in my last post when I said I love my plans. The catch is that I don’t just enjoy making plans and rejoicing when they work well. I actually become invested in my plans, to the point that I can make my security revolve around my plans–how well they are working, etc. If you are one of those people that rejoice in saying, “It’s all going according to plan,” then you might also be in danger of absolutizing your plan…or at the very least, making it more important than it was ever meant to be.

Because a plan is a very temporary thing, meant to serve the needs of the moment. It’s not meant to be something that takes over our lives, that becomes more important than its purpose, or the people it involves, even ourselves.

Yet plans can be incredibly helpful and important–in keeping a group on track, in juggling many things at one time, in achieving goals that, without a lot of careful planning, might otherwise be impossible.

Whether you are a pantser or a planner, whether you love plans or hate them, or whether you are somewhere in-between–loving the organization that plans bring, but longing for more spontaneity–you probably aren’t neutral to plans.

The problem with any plan is that it isn’t perfect. No matter how many contingencies we anticipate, it’s likely that something will come up that we couldn’t foresee. And then the plan must be adjusted or replaced with another.

The good news is that the most important plan for you is perfect: perfect for you wherever you are, and flexible when your situation changes, or when you want to shift directions. What plan is that, you wonder? God’s plan.

* * *

Vocational Insight: Religious Life*

For all of us, the future is unknowable. As a religious with the vow of obedience, I don’t have the stability of creating my own plan, of knowing where I’m going to live, or the work that I’m going to be doing. While others can take this stability and this sense of control for granted, they are not part of my life. Often, I have no clue of what’s coming next. I cannot count the times when I’ve needed to change plans for the mission that I’m carrying out midstream. And I honestly never know for sure where I will be or what I will be doing a year from now. Although this might sound difficult to live, the security I have in living the vow of obedience is worth it:

Living well the vow of obedience offers me the certainty that I am doing God’s will, however unexpected it may be.

My vow of obedience demands that I trust in a larger plan that is not my own: in God’s plan for me, as mediated through my superiors. Though at times I may struggle in the moment (or the first weeks or months) to accept God’s plan for me, the truth is that every time I’ve been able to step back and look at my life, it’s clear that God’s love guides the story of my life. God’s plan has proven  over and over again to be the best for me.

*For those who are  discerning their vocations, I’ll occasionally offer an insight from the various states in life. Naturally, since I’m a religious sister, my personal insights will most often be about religious life. But I’ll try to find others to offer spiritual insights into the vocation to marriage, priesthood, and the single life too.

True Story: What It’s Like To Be Married to Jesus

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

SrHelenaRSister Helena Raphael Burns, FSP, a sister in my community, recently published the story of her discernment titling it: What It’s Really Like To Be Married To Jesus. It’s a fun read, but also offers some very helpful insights for those who are discerning their vocations, especially to  religious life.

My favorite line from Sr. Helena’s story:

This is what you’re [everyone is] supposed to think when you see a nun: “Yup! God is the Spouse of every soul, the Spouse of my soul.

When we live our vocations with authenticity–marriage, priesthood, religious life, single life–they complement and strengthen each other. Enjoy her story!

A couple weeks ago, I put out a call for questions about discernment, thinking that maybe Friday’s post could be a Q & A. Although a number of readers emailed me, only a couple of questions came up about discernment, mostly about discerning religious life, or what it’s like entering a religious community. I’ll be answering those questions shortly, but I just want to remind you that I’m happy to answer questions–and provide a forum where we can explore discernment together. For now, the best way to send me questions is to “comment” on one of my posts or send me an email. Questions sent to me on Twitter will probably reach me if you use @SisterMPaul, but questions on Facebook won’t reach me for now. (I haven’t been able to set up Facebook’s notifications so that I’m not inundated by all kinds of information that takes too much time to sort through. Hopefully I’ll figure out the settings some day soon!)

I look forward to hearing from you and continuing on our discernment journeys together!

The Story Behind This Blog

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 4 Comments

SrPaulSelfSmallGloomedFor nine years, I’d helped young women discern their vocation–whether they were called to religious life, married life, or the single life. I offered workshops and mini-courses on vocational discernment, discernment retreats, and individual vocational accompaniment. The intensity of others’ discernments helped me live the spiritual art of discernment much more mindfully. I was thrilled that I could focus on discernment so much, though I knew that I was just beginning to go deeper into living this profound spiritual art and practice. I was even asked to write a book about it—a book that I never got to.

Then I was transferred to another assignment–something very different from what I’d been doing. “No big deal,” I thought. I planned to continue discernment as an important part of my Pauline life. After all by this time, I’d been a religious sister living the vow of obedience for over twenty-five years.

But in a new and unfamiliar environment, the multitude of choices and decisions I faced daily made me feel paralyzed. When presented with several fantastic opportunities, I had no idea which one God was calling me to do. My prayer, dry at the time, didn’t shed any light. God made his presence felt, but not his desires, not his will. I felt as if I had no clue which opportunity or direction was truly his will. And just as I was realizing how inexpert I was in the art of discernment, I was once again asked if I would consider writing a book on discernment!

God often puts unexpected plot twists in the story of my life. This is not the first time that God has called me to grow in a certain area in my life by inviting me to write a book. So I’ve decided to give it a try. To create a true dialogue, to receive input from readers, and to make sure that I’m speaking to others’ real questions about discernment, I thought it would be great if I could blog the book first. And this blog, CoAuthorYourLifewithGod, was born.

Discernment has become a key part of my life because it leads me into greater alignment with God’s will, to live God’s story for me. Although I’ve spent a lot of time discerning and witnessing others’ discernments, I’m no expert. I still struggle with discerning how God is inviting me when I’m overwhelmed, afraid, or attached to having my way. The truth is that all of us can grow in this spiritual art of listening to the Lord’s invitations and striving to respond with a generous “yes!”

This blog gives us the opportunity to reflect on and grow in the spiritual art of discernment. Please ask questions, comment, and be active here on this blog—it’s for you! I’ll try to include opportunities to share, contests, and surveys that will make it fun to explore this important spiritual art, as we together seek to discover how we can listen more deeply and respond more generously to God’s loving call in our lives.

I’d really love to hear from you (in the comments box below or you can email me, too–just mention if you’d like me to keep your question anonymous):

  • Why have you stopped by and visited this blog?
  • What are you discerning?
  • What questions do you have about discernment or growing in your relationship with God?
  • What would you like to see here on this blog that would be helpful for you on your discernment journey?

God Has a Dream for You

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment
Not sure where the path is leading...

Not sure where the path is leading…

After I entered religious life, I was almost immediately assigned to proofreading as a way of taking part in the Pauline mission.* Already a bookworm, I loved it there because I got to read almost half of the new books that our sisters published that year. And I became a pretty good proofreader, too. It seemed the perfect fit.

About two years later, I was assigned to the newly developing Pauline Video studio. I was flabbergasted. Why would anyone in their right mind take me away from books and throw me into a department that required talent in visual arts and a combination of skills that I knew I didn’t have: creativity, technical skills, and an ability to design? As I struggled with the new assignment, one of the sisters told me, “God knows us better than we know ourselves. You wait and see: God will show you why you’ve been sent there.”

It took me a number of years to figure out what a marvelous gift God gave me in transferring me to the video studio. Working in a small studio where everyone has to help out in many areas—out of sheer necessity—stretched me to develop talents I’d had no idea I had. And it also gave me many opportunities to write. Although I’d never thought about writing a script before, it became my favorite form to write in. Sometimes God’s co-authorship gives our stories a plot turn that we do not expect!

Over the years, I have learned to trust that God always has a reason for leading us—God wants to lead us closer to himself, and closer to the fulfillment of God’s dream for us.

And God’s dream for us is better than we could ever possibly imagine!

*The Daughters of Saint Paul have the mission of communicating Christ through their lives and all forms of media.