One of my favorite quotes about discernment from Father Rupnik’s book, Discernment: Acquiring the Heart of God, reminding us that discernment is all about trust: discovering that God first trusts us, and then entrusting ourselves to God to lead us.
And for young women looking for an opportunity to discern with my wonderful community, the Daughters of Saint Paul, known on Twitter as #MediaNuns, this is a shout-out for our Holy Week Retreat that will be held at our large convent in Boston, MA:
Every once in a while, I’ll post one of my favorite quotations from Father Marko Ivan Rupnik’s book, Discernment: Acquiring the Heart of God. I had a little problem with the size, but if you click on the title or image, you can read it more easily. Here is today’s quotation:
For those in California, I just wanted to let you know I’m visiting on a book promotion tour for the next two weeks. If you can, join me–I love meeting those discerning and readers of my books and blogs! I’m posting up the events below. As you know, Eucharistic adoration is one of the best ways to pray when you are making a discernment!
San Francisco Area:
Los Angeles Area (Culver City):
San Diego:
In light of God’s Storyview (see several previous posts), let’s break down/explore the first key to an authentic discernment, which answers a key discernment question:
What can we discern?
When I first saw the great classic film, The Godfather, I was riveted by the core dramatic question: Was the younger son Michael Corleone going to become the next padrone? The film brilliantly explores moral choice; how one chooses what one will do with one’s life, including the complexity of intentions; the responsibility of those surrounded by an evil that has become systematized; the attractiveness of evil disguised as protecting one’s family; the insidious process of corruption from within. But as brilliant an exploration of good and evil this film is, The Godfather is never about discernment, because becoming part of the mafia is aligning one’s self with evil, and is thus a choice for evil, no matter what a person’s intentions are.
If a choice involves an option that is sinful, it’s not a situation where we need to discern God’s will. Instead, it’s a situation in which we need to pray for the wisdom to make a good moral decision and for the moral strength to resist temptation and respond to God’s grace.
Very often when Catholics hear the word “discern,” they associate it with vocational discernment, e.g., a person seeking to discover whether their vocation is to marriage, single life, consecrated life, or priesthood. (Or in some cases, a combination of two.)
Vocational state is a great example of what to discern because all the states in life are inherently good. Discernment is always between good things. God, who is Truth, Goodness, and Beauty, is always going to invite us to truth, goodness, and beauty. God cannot contradict himself; God’s will for us can never be something morally wrong.
One of my favorite movies about discernment is Amazing Grace, the story of two crises (and two discernments) in the life of William Wilberforce, an Englishman who dedicated his life to end slavery in Great Britain. If you have the opportunity, I encourage you to see the film using the “lens” of discernment. Several principles of discernment that we’ll look at here on this blog are well depicted in the movie, which I will highlight and reflect on in a later (soon to come!) “Discernment @ the Movies” guide.
To Journal About:
They say that all writers come in two flavors only: planners and pantsers.
For those who aren’t familiar with the term, a “pantser” is a writer who writes from the “seat of his or her pants.” In other words, they go into a writing project or writing session without a plan, and they just see what comes out, what happens on the page. A planner, of course, is a writer who outlines what they write before they start writing. Some writers write detailed plans–a summary of every scene that may even include lines of dialogue; others write a simple outline of what needs to happen chapter by chapter. Others might simply have a general outline of the major plot twists of the story. On the other extreme, “discovery writers” have no idea where their story is going until they’ve written it.
Like many other writers, I fall somewhere in the middle, but I definitely start all my writing projects with some sort of direction. Planning out the stories I write makes them stronger and heightens their drama, and also results in less rewriting. But I also find it important to be present to whatever I’m writing in the moment, because only then do I imagine or “live” the details of what I write. These specifics of an emotion or concrete details of an event are what makes the story more compelling, more resonant with people.
With regard to much of the rest of my life, I’m a huge planner. Making a plan may be challenging, tiring, or exhilarating, but I always find it wonderfully freeing to have a plan. It frees me because it gives me something to hang my uncertainty on. At the same time, my plans give me control. When it’s my plan, I can deviate from it as much as I want. Sometimes I feel that planning gives me the ultimate control: I can stick rigidly to the plan if I can’t think of anything better, I can use it as a general guide, follow tiny pieces of it, or throw it away all together so that I can live in the moment. I love my plans, because plans make the story of my future real, hopeful, and positive.
But then, something unexpected will happen and all my plans will be disrupted and become completely useless. While this can be challenging, even upsetting, when this happens I often experience an unexpected but welcome sense of being connected with the present moment. Instead of being focused on future plans, I’m simply living the gift of the present.
How do you feel about plans?
* * *
To Journal About:
The Miraculous Draft of Fishes – Raphael – Public Domain
Introduction: At certain moments in our discernments, the lack of clarity about the path ahead and the letting go of past ways of doing things to make room for the “new” that God is working in our lives, can cause a sense of timidity, uncertainty, or fearfulness within us. Jesus reminds us, “Do not be afraid!”
(As noted in the Lectio Divina Guide for Those Discerning, a wonderful way of listening to the Lord—and perhaps the first that we should practice—is praying with the Bible through lectio divina. This guided lectio is provided to help those who are just beginning with lectio divina. If you choose to pray with this guide, I encourage you to go back later and pray with this passage from Luke on your own, using this simple guide.)
Lectio: Luke 5:1-11
Once while Jesus was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.
Read through this reading slowly and attentively at least twice. Take your time with it.
Meditatio
This reading has a wealth of meanings. For this lectio, let’s focus on three lines of the conversation between Jesus and Simon Peter:
“Put out into the deep.” Up to this point in the Gospel of Luke, Simon Peter doesn’t know Jesus very well yet, except that Jesus healed his mother-in-law (Luke 4). It seems this is the first time that Jesus invites Simon to do something, and it is to step forward in faith in him. It’s an unusual request probably for a number of reasons; the impulsive fisherman mentions only two of them—the fish aren’t biting, and night time is better for catching fish. What is it about Jesus’ request or in his gaze that makes Simon Peter continue on, “…yet if you say so…” and follow Jesus’ invitation?
While Simon Peter was probably pretty familiar with the lake, I am not so familiar with “the deep.” It’s hard for me sometimes to follow Jesus’ invitation when I can’t clearly see the path ahead, when I don’t know “how deep,” or “how far” I’m being asked to go. But I have no need to be afraid because, like Simon Peter, I have Jesus in the boat with me. Jesus would never ask me to take a step forward in faith and then abandon me. He will be with me every moment of my discernment, every moment of my journey.
“Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” I really identify with Peter’s words as he witnesses Jesus’ goodness and miraculous power. Peter is in touch with his humanity and his sinfulness. And it’s fitting that we acknowledge our need for forgiveness, for conversion, not just in the challenging moments of our journey, but also in the seemingly miraculous ones.
The truth is that none of us are “worthy” of Christ. Yet our relationship with Jesus is not about being worthy, or becoming worthy. Our relationship with Christ is about Christ loving us first. Jesus is not concerned with “how” unworthy I am, because it only means that I am more aware of how much I need his saving love. And Jesus delights in saving us.
“Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” Jesus repeats “Do not fear,” in the Gospels over and over again. It might be tiresome to others, but for me, it’s a message I need to hear especially when I’m invited to take a step of faith, when I’m invited to “put out into the deep.” The reason we do not have to be afraid? Because from now on, we are Christ’s. When we belong to Christ, we can trust in his faithful love for us.
Christ’s invitation to follow him is implied here. And Christ’s invitation isn’t just for Peter alone. In essence, Jesus is inviting them, “Help me with my mission of ‘catching people,’ of attracting people to salvation in me.” It was an irresistible invitation for Simon and the other fishermen who were called.
Our call and our mission are so deeply connected that usually we cannot discern one without the other. Often, it’s just when we feel least worthy that Jesus calls us to share in his mission! And his call to us to be close to him is genuine: there is no way to draw closer to Jesus than by sharing in his thirst for others’ salvation.
Contemplatio
“Put out into the deep water.” What is the “deep water” that Jesus invites me to? How do I need to change or grow to respond to Jesus’ invitation?
Oratio – Prayer To Live God’s Loving Plan
Lord, from all eternity,
You know me, choose me,
love me, and call me.
Every day You invite me
to a life full of joy, love, and meaning!
You call me to become more truly myself,
and more of You.
You who love me through and through,
and know every stirring of my heart,
have gifted me with a unique calling
where the world’s deepest needs
meet my deepest joy.
Grant me the openness to hear Your invitation,
the faith to trust Your love,
the courage to choose You, Master, as You have chosen me,
and a generous heart
that falls ever more deeply in love with You.
Mary, God’s Mother and mine,
you joyfully and fully responded to God’s call in your life.
Help me to respond to God’s plan for me with all my being,
as you did. Amen.
Actio
Choose a way in which to respond to Christ’s invitation to you today in your daily life.
Note: I apologize for not posting the past week: I came down with the flu, and am only now feeling better. Over the next three months, I am doing some traveling for promoting my book, Soul of Christ: Meditations on a Timeless Prayer, but hopefully I’ll still be able to post three times a week… God bless you!
![By Brian Gilmore (http://my-superhero.com/) [FAL], via Wikimedia Commons](https://coauthoryourlifewithgod.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/my_superhero_logo.png){kind=logo}
By Brian Gilmore (http://my-superhero.com/) [FAL], via Wikimedia Commons
Do you enjoy superhero films? Do you have a favorite superhero?
Although I was no comic-book reader when I was growing up, I have come to enjoy the best of the superhero movies that have been produced in the past two decades. Superhero films can offer a lot to reflect on, but my favorites explore the themes of love and self-sacrifice in the life of the hero.
By far my favorite superhero is Superman. However, I’m still waiting for a truly great Superman movie. (Someday I’ll post reviews of all the onscreen live-action Superman movies!) In the meantime, Spider-Man 2 became one of my very favorite superhero movies. While there are many reasons for my choice, one reason is that Spider-Man 2 (2004, starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, directed by Sam Raimi) offers a great cinematic example of discernment. Practically the entire second act of the film is Peter Parker’s discernment: Shall I continue to be Spider-Man, or shall I give it up? It’s a question of identity, of mission, of deep desire, of the search for happiness and peace of mind and heart…all essential to making a good discernment.
Although a direct reference to God is lacking, Peter Parker takes many of the actions one needs to take to make a good discernment:
* Takes time to reflect on the circumstances of one’s own life
* Listens to the desires of one’s heart
* Listens to the needs of the world and one’s own specific circumstances
* Tests out a preliminary decision
* Reflects on what gives true peace of heart
* Seeks wise advice (mentor or spiritual director)
Watching Spider-Man 2 may be an unusual but helpful way to reflect on how to make a good discernment; especially if we’re in the midst of a discernment involving our vocation or a major life-decision, Peter Parker’s struggle to discern might really resonate with us.
You may find it helpful to download this short Discernment @ the Movies Guide: Spider-Man 2 and use it when you watch the film. Afterwards, take some time to reflect on the questions on the guide. You might even want to watch the film with a friend who is also exploring discernment, and discuss the questions together over coffee or tea afterwards.
In discerning God’s will, neither scruples nor a careless “whatever goes” attitude is helpful. God is close and wants to reveal himself to each of us. Discerning God’s story for us involves a lot of listening, but that’s because we are usually spiritually hard of hearing. God not only wants to communicate his love and his plan for us, he wants to work out that plan with our full participation, which includes our making choices. Our full participation doesn’t, however, mean that we can see the whole picture: seeing the full story is a surprise that awaits us in heaven. (Read Newman’s “I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created” for Blessed John Henry Newman’s take on this.) Instead, God’s story for us unfolds step by step, giving us what we need to know to do his will, to live his dream for us.
There are many times when I’ve been grateful for how God has led me through a particular circumstance, and afterwards I see how it was really important for me to go through. But I’m really glad I didn’t know all of what was involved ahead of time, because I know I would have worried so much about it that my fear would probably have made me resist God’s plan for me. I might not have truly believed that God’s grace would be there for me to help me.
God gives us the grace to live the present moment, not the future. For me, worrying ahead of time can lead to fear and resistance to God’s grace. And then the gifts and the growth that could come from that experience would be lost.
Most likely, we will not fully understand all of God’s plan for us while we’re here on earth. The best choice and the most important attitude we have is to seek God’s will. As we figure out what that means, and as our heart is purified to ignore other distractions and truly seek God’s will, God can work with our faltering steps.
Have you ever prayed about your dreams? Take a few moments and journal:
Bring this list of dreams to prayer and share them with God. Take a few moments to offer each dream individually to God.
After your prayer, how do you feel about your dreams for your life?
Adoration in our Pauline Chapel
Lifetime’s reality TV show The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns continued last night with episodes 3 and 4 back-to-back. These new episodes highlighted all the conventions of a reality TV show that I don’t enjoy: competition, heightened (over-the-top!) drama, staged scenes, coaching from the show’s producers, oversimplification of relationships and personal journeys, and an overt editing that revealed an obvious manipulation of various events. For me, watching this show has become a study of reality television shows and how “not real” they are!
Yet, if we take these conventions into account, it’s still possible to gain insight, both into religious life and into the process of discernment, as some viewers live-tweeted with other sisters and me while watching the show. I think this is particularly true because of the good will of the sisters and discerners on the show, who tried to be real in their interviews and comments.
Insights that I think could be particularly helpful for those of us who want to live more deeply in a spirit of discernment are:
Insight 1. Do not be afraid, but trust in God! We can often see God’s hand in our lives much more clearly when we look back on an experience, rather than when we are living in it. The most positive moments in the show so far have been when the young women leave one convent for another. In looking back on their experiences there, they talk about being loved, about experiencing God, and about growing as persons.
Yet we have just witnessed that these visits were not easy to go through. So these episodes help us to see that even in the difficult, confusing, or challenging moments of our lives, we need to cling to hope: God will use every event to draw us closer to himself, if we let him. This insight bears repeating for all of us: Do not be afraid! Trust in God, no matter where you are because he is with you.
Insight 2. The power of Eucharistic adoration in discerning. As a Pauline sister, I have a special love for Eucharistic adoration. My favorite description of adoration is something that St. John Paul said when he encouraged young people to go before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and simply “let him love you.”
If you already pray before Jesus in the Eucharist regularly, you know how blessed we are to be able to take advantage of his presence, his love, his availability! When you take quality time with Jesus in the Eucharist—at Mass, receiving Communion, or making some time for adoration—Jesus will transform the rest of your life as well. You cannot, will not, walk away unchanged.
If you don’t already make an occasional or regular Eucharistic Hour of adoration, I encourage you to consider it, perhaps by starting with just 20 minutes. There is something about the tangible closeness and vulnerability of Jesus in the Eucharist that can pierce through our blindness and defenses, helping us understand how loved we are, and how faithful his love is.
For those for whom the silence of adoration is really hard, there can be for a number of reasons, but I hear two reasons repeatedly:
1) We simply don’t know what to do with the silence.
2) When we are silent for a time, all the negative stuff–thoughts, feelings, or experiences–that we carry within us come to the fore, and we’re not expecting that. It can make any time of silence difficult, including time of adoration. It can be really hard if we feel that we have to be “extra-holy” to come to adoration. But what better place to deal with the “tough stuff” of our lives than with our loving Lord? In the Eucharist, Jesus welcomes and loves us. Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves, and delights in us, no matter what we are struggling with. And when we draw close to him in the Eucharist, we are inviting him to work in us, to heal us, to help us to grow.
What can we do if we struggle with the silence? Here are a couple quick suggestions:
(For more on Eucharistic adoration, you may wish to check out my book, Soul of Christ: Meditations on a Timeless Prayer, or another book on Eucharistic prayer.)
Insight 3. Discernment is not about proving ourselves; it’s about love. None of us are “worthy” of being loved or being called to love. If we honestly know ourselves and ponder the heights of each vocation to love—whether it is the vocation to consecrated life, single life, or marriage—all of us find ourselves lacking.
Several times during the show, a young woman referred to “proving” herself to God, or “redeeming” herself in the eyes of others. This highlights for me again that the show can be misleading about competition and comparisons. Discernment is about discovering that we are loved by God deeply and wondrously, and then responding to God’s amazing love.
Discernment is about discovering our call to love.
4. God works with each of us individually. There are commonalities within discernment, but there is also the truth that God has a unique relationship with each one of us.
Every young woman experienced something remarkably different in the aftermath of several events, for example, praying the Rosary in the car after Darnell showed up to bring Eseni home (and thus short-circuit her discernment). From bringing back painful memories for Stacey and prompting her to feel lost, to offering light and clarity for Christie, this moment showed how unique each woman’s journey is. God’s individual guidance was also very clear during the young women’s different responses to the quiet time of Eucharistic adoration. Some of the young women were deeply touched and one had a breakthrough, while some found the adoration time very difficult—with one young woman needing to leave for some fresh air. (Note: It might have been helpful if the young women had some guidance in how to make an hour of adoration, especially for those who hadn’t done it before.) Because discernment is so individual, a group experience like this—while it has its strengths—also needs to take into account where each young person is. Obviously this wasn’t possible in a show like this.
* * *
Although the young women and sisters offered a lot of support to the young women discerning, both Episodes 3 & 4 had moments that really challenged me to continue watching, when certain behaviors contradicted Gospel values that are sought to be lived intensely in religious life. Especially the moments where participants of the show talk about others on camera, it’s hard for me to see the charity at work there amidst the comparisons, even knowing the comments are taken out of context. As one of our sisters, @SrSeanM so eloquently put in Twitter-verse nuggets last week:
“I figured out what’s bugging me about #TheSisterhood. They’re treating #discernment like religious life Boot Camp. And it’s so not!”
“#Discernment NOT a matter of seeing whether or not you measure up! It’s a matter of discovering what you are called to.”
“There are no short-cuts to creating a deep loving relationship. Love takes time and persistence. #Vocation is a call to love.”
Ultimately, discernment is a call to love: to discover how loved we are, and to respond to that immense, divine love! I close this post as I have in the past: by praying for the discerners on the show and watching the show. The prayer below is adapted from the prayer given to us by our Founder, Blessed James Alberione, to encourage prayer for priestly and religious vocations:
Jesus, Divine Master, who said, “The harvest indeed is great, but the laborers are few,” we lovingly accept your invitation: “Pray the heavenly Father to send forth laborers into his harvest.”
Inspire a devout crusade for vocations: “All the faithful for all vocations!” More priests! May they be the salt of the earth, the light of the world, the city placed on the mountaintop for the salvation of humanity redeemed by your blood. More religious–both men and women–to fill the earth with religious houses which welcome your chosen ones, and which will be centers of light and warmth, sources of prayer, gardens of saints, singing “glory to God and peace to men and women of good will.” More husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, who testify to your Gospel in the world, at work, in the family, and in the loving formation of their children.
Mary, “God’s chosen one,” Mother and guardian of holy vocations, pray with us, pray for us, and for all called by God to live our vocations in greater love and holiness. Amen.
During my first year as a pre-postulant in the Daughters of Saint Paul–just after the most dramatic discernment of my life!
I made the most dramatic discernment of my life (up till now) when I was a teenager and discerned God’s call to enter religious life. At the time, I didn’t have the depth of understanding of discernment that I do now. But if you’d have asked me, I would have described discernment as, “seeking to do God’s will.” That classic definition still works for me, as well as all the descriptions given in my previous post.
(Yes, it was a trick question: all the answers are correct!)
But below are some of my favorite descriptions of discernment:
Discernment is…
1. Seeking God’s will for my life
2. Coming to know Christ and recognize his presence in the story of my life
3. A spiritual art in which I come to better understand how God communicates himself to me, and how God is saving me…my personal salvation story. This definition is taken from one of my favorite authors on discernment, Jesuit priest Father Marko Ivan Rupnik, from his book: Discernment: Acquiring the Heart of God. More about his wonderful book soon!
Perhaps you’d like to add a description of discernment in your own words. If you do, please share it!
4. ___________________________________________________________________
(You can email me if you’d like me to post it, or you can put it in the comments below.)
Keeping in mind both these descriptions and the ones from my previous post, we can now look more closely at why discernment is important:
If we believe in a God who truly loves us and wants what is best for us, then discerning what God wants is the best way to find happiness. God’s story for us may have its ups and downs, but it always leads to a happy ending!
Co-Author Your Life with God 
