Discernment Tip

Discernment Tip: Fix Our Gaze on Christ

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment
Fixing our minds and hearts on Christ, our Way to happiness

Fixing our minds and hearts on Christ, our Way to happiness

How can we avoid sin and grow in the spiritual life? Blessed James Alberione, Founder of the Pauline Family, offers helpful and practical strategies. He encourages us to avoid sin especially by replacing sinful attitudes and behaviors with the opposite virtue. His “take” on spiritual growth includes both dealing with the negative—vigilance in avoiding sin, and the positive—focusing on the virtue we most need to grow in.

Alberione’s integrated way to grow in the spiritual life helps us to acknowledge our sinfulness and do what we can to avoid sin in the future, while not allowing us to stay focused on the sin. Ironically, when we concentrate too hard on avoiding a particular sin, we can actually make it harder because it keeps our attention focused on ourselves and on our weakness. Blessed James encourages us to focus our gaze on Christ and how Christ lived the virtue that we need to acquire. This way, we keep our gaze on Christ, even when we are confronting our own sinfulness:

Our resolutions and real spiritual work should have a negative side and a positive side.  For example: fight against pride to replace it with humility; fight against concupiscence of the flesh to replace it with mortification and chastity; fight against avarice and the spirit of ease to replace it with charity and poverty.  It is a matter of taking off the old Adam in order to put on the new man, Jesus Christ (cf. Eph. 4:24)

So if we’re struggling with a particular sin that we give in to often, Blessed James offers us this practical strategy: begin to focus on the positive virtue we most need to grow in.

1) Whatever sin we are struggling the most against, we look for the opposite virtue.

2) We read through one of the Gospels and note down passages that show how Christ talked about and lived that particular virtue.

3) Over the next few weeks and months, we pray daily with one of those Gospel passages:

  • We read through each passage, reflecting on how Jesus lived the virtue we want to grow in: how did Jesus speak and act? How does this Gospel passage challenge my thinking? Did anything surprise us about Jesus’ words or actions?
  • In light of Jesus’ words and example, we examine our conscience daily, especially how we have lived this virtue in the past day: in our thoughts and attitudes, in our choices and actions, and in our desires. We look at both our successes and failures, thanking God for the graces and successes, asking God’s forgiveness for the ways we did not live this virtue.
  • We conclude by praying for the grace to grow in this virtue, and in love. What might we need to change so that we can live this virtue as Jesus did? Remembering Christ’s love for us, we stir up our desire and fervor to live more closely united to Christ by growing in this virtue.

4) We can repeat this over time with each of the Gospels, and with the Letters of the New Testament.

We don’t have to wait to become sin-free to discern—or none of us ever would make a discernment!—but we want to be growing into an always fuller life in Christ, so that we can not only listen to God’s invitations, but freely and generously respond to God’s call. Keeping our gaze fixed on Christ is something we want to do at every stage of our discernment!

Is detachment a virtue?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

06W Sr Ann

Years ago, “good young Catholics” were often discouraged from expressing what they liked and what they didn’t like. “This is so you can grow in detachment,” the young person was told. 

Detachment was considered hugely important because it helps someone put aside their own will, likings, preferences, abilities, etc., so that they can wholeheartedly embrace God’s will. But for some people, never expressing one’s preferences seemed to dull the world and crush healthy individual autonomy.

Nowadays, many spiritual directors talk about how to live in a spirit of detachment differently. The gifts of each individual—sometimes expressed in personal preferences—are greatly respected in the spiritual life. Personal preferences are not only expressed but encouraged (although always in moderation). However, detachment is still important to nurture because it helps us embrace God’s will.

What do we seek to detach ourselves from? Anything that distracts us from God, or that could prevent me from embracing God’s will. It could be material objects (like a favorite blanket), certain food or habit of eating, our way of doing something, a talent, or habits. These things or preferences can be good in themselves, but when we grow too attached to them or give them too much importance, they can start to interfere with our freedom. Sometimes we don’t even recognize when we’ve become attached to something, so giving up something that we prefer can be good practice to keep us attentive to the movements of our hearts.

* * *

In my own life, I find that giving up a personal preference—especially for the sake of another person—is a very helpful spiritual practice that helps me remember what is truly important. I’ve also found that detachment is more fruitful when it’s a choice made intentionally by the individual each time, rather than a rule imposed on everyone. In my community, detachment is often practiced by accepting what we receive and by avoiding complaining, trusting that our situation is an expression of God’s will for us.

In my own spiritual journey, when I’ve neglected to cultivate detachment, I’ve noticed that my priorities tend to get a bit muddled, and I can start to cling to things that aren’t even very important to me. I become more taken up by daily concerns, rather than about living my relationship with God and bringing about God’s Kingdom.

* * *

Is detachment truly a Christian virtue? It’s not specifically mentioned in any of the beatitudes, it’s not a theological or cardinal virtue, nor is it listed as a gift or fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Of course, that is a trick question. “Detachment” is specifically alluded to in several of the lists of virtues mentioned above. First of all, the beatitudes—especially poverty of spirit—require detachment from the things of this world. Temperance, as one of the four cardinal virtues, warns against our becoming too attached to or abusing this world’s goods by using them immoderately or to the point of harm. Self-control, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, also presupposes a certain detachment from whatever excesses we might be tempted to.

* * *

For me, the easiest way to understand detachment is in light of the foundational call that we have all received in our Baptism to die to self and to rise with the Lord. Dying to ourselves is in truth detaching ourselves from our own thoughts, opinions, prejudices, ways of doing things, and from seeing or using created goods in a way that doesn’t bring about God’s glory. Dying to ourselves means dying to anything that could prevent us from fully living in Christ.

Detachment doesn’t mean totally disconnecting ourselves from all material goods or all the things of the world. (Which is mostly impossible anyway.) We can and should marvel at the wonder, joy, and beauty of God’s creation. But detachment means that we do this by giving everything its rightful place—not making something more important than someone, not making any person more important than God, and not allowing any of our desires to become more important to us than the desire to live God’s will.

Detachment frees and empties us from sinful and unhealthy attachments, so that our minds, hearts, and wills are free to cling to God, to discover God’s will, and to wholeheartedly embrace it.

Discernment Tip: Give Everything Its Proper Place

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 1 Comment

The best discernments are those in which the person discerning makes a journey towards interior freedom. In other words, they are no longer constrained by unhealthy attachments to nonessentials—things like others’ opinions, our comfort, or anything other than God’s loving will.

Everything has its place in creation, and God has given us many gifts in order to live fully. When we give a created thing more importance than it deserves, we call that an unhealthy attachment. Unhealthy attachments prevent us from having the freedom to recognize and respond to God’s will.

Here’s a petty (but realistic) personal example: I like sitting in the same place in chapel every day. The prayerbooks that I keep at that place, and the familiar view helps me to enter into prayer. But our chapel is free for everyone to use, and sometimes another person will take the place I usually take. When I find someone sitting there, I pay attention. If I’m mildly irritated because I’m inconvenienced, that’s normal. If however, I become upset because someone took “my place,” then I’ve got a problem. I’ve become attached to a particular spot of a wooden pew. I’ve made it more important than it really is.

As human beings, it’s really easy for us to become too attached to things that really aren’t very important. If you have a favorite book, movie, dessert, or sport, you know this temptation—even if you haven’t given in to it! It’s also easy for us to become unhealthily attached to other people—for example, we can rely too much on what someone else thinks of us. If we enjoy a particular friendship but find ourselves jealous when that friend spends time with someone else, we may have an attachment to our friend that is unhealthy.

The attachments that are hardest for me to recognize, though, are the interior ones—for example, to my own way, opinions, or desires.  Certain work by its very nature requires flexibility. If someone cannot be flexible about the way that they work, becoming angry whenever they collaborate with someone else, this is a sign that they could be too attached to their way of doing things. It’s fine to have a preference for a way of doing something, but when we overreact or refuse to try something a new or different way, then it’s possible that we’ve become too attached to our own way. This attachment can prevent us from receiving God’s inspiration.

A disordered attachment to anything or anyone can become an obstacle to freedom because it puts something else in the place of God’s will. Healthy detachment can help us to regain our freedom.

To Pray With

We can begin by listening to Jesus’ words in the Gospel, where Jesus reminds us that where our treasure is, our heart will also be. Pray with Matthew 6: 19-21. What do we treasure in our life? Do we truly treasure our relationship with God above everything else?

NOTE: For the rest of this week, I’m taking a break from blogging to cover Pope Francis’ visit to the U.S., and I’d like to encourage you to take a break, too. Let’s truly listen and take in the words of Pope Francis to us! Especially if you are discerning your vocation or a decision about ministry, God may inspire you through the Pope’s words and presence. I’ll return to blogging about discernment after the Pope’s visit, on September 30th.

Silence: Irreplaceable for Discerning

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / 2 Comments

“Silence

allows a person to speak with God,

to hear God, and to receive from God;

in holy silence the soul withdraws into itself,

comes to know itself better,

and achieves greater union with God.

The person will be fascinated by God,

enter into intimate conversation with God,

and pray with Saint Augustine:

“That I may know myself, that I may know thee.” 

                                                            – Bl. James Alberione

When is the last time that you were surrounded by silence?

When I first visited the convent, I was told about “Grand Silence,” which was the sisters’ daily practice of not talking (except for an absolute emergency) from night prayers until breakfast the next morning. As a postulant (sister-in-training), I would be required to keep the Grand Silence too. The first night I was a bit uneasy–I worried that I’d forget and start talking to someone, and I wasn’t sure what the penalty would be! I also wondered how dire “an absolute emergency” would have to be to justify speaking a few words.

Grand Silence is a monastic tradition which recognizes how valuable silence is for growing in a spirit of recollection and prayer, for knowing oneself, for entering into a deeper communion with God.

Because we Daughters of Saint Paul are an active apostolic community, we don’t keep “Grand Silence” as strictly as a contemplative monastery, but we do keep a spirit of silence in the convent at night and in the early morning, a silence that is rarely broken. I find it invaluable for allowing me to turn my focus once again inward, to my relationship with God, and to mull over how I spent the day. Silence is one of the things I miss the most when I’m traveling and not staying at a convent.

The “noisiness” of our lives can distract us from the deeper purpose of our lives: to do God’s will. Today, many of us live with almost constant noise of some kind or other. Whether it’s our smartphone’s frequent ping calling our attention, the roar of traffic, the mechanical whir of the refrigerator, favorite music or talk radio coming through our tiny earbuds, or chatting with friends or family, silence has become a rare, precious commodity.

I treasure the moments that I take a walk in a park where I can really focus on the birdsongs and the whisper of the wind in the trees, and just take in the silence. Making time for silence in our lives is vital to deepening our relationship with God. Silence is not just passive: I often find that God speaks to me in silence, without words.

In his short message for World Communication Day in 2012, Pope Benedict XVI wrote the best “call to silence” I have ever read. I encourage you to read the whole message—it’s just a little over two pages long—and it will say better than I ever could why making silence part of your daily or weekly routine is irreplaceable in your life as a human being, as a believer, as a discerner.

For us who are discerning God’s will and seeking to listen to God’s call in our daily life, making time for silence is key. Silence helps us:

  • come to know ourselves
  • recognize what in our lives is important
  • hear God and enter into fuller communion with God
  • enter more deeply into our relationships with others
  • listen compassionately to others
  • open ourselves to the Truth
  • contemplate God’s invitations and presence in the world
  • become aware of what we really want to communicate….

If you are able to take some silent time, add to this list afterwards. How does silence help you to become more yourself, and closer to others and to God? You may not notice much of a difference at first, but if you develop a “silence habit,” you may find yourself more self-aware, focused, happier, and more “in tune with” God through your day.

Try This

Make time for real silence in your life this week. Go for a long walk in the country, visit a quiet church, go into your room and close the door and do something quiet, or find another way to spend time in silence.

Media as Discernment Opportunity!

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

06U pexels

Another obstacle to deeper listening that is particular to our times is the constant blitz of media messages that is almost impossible to avoid. Cell phones that are always on mean that anyone with our number (such as our boss) always has a way to reach us; having a smart phone or computer means that we can check our email not just twice but twenty or thirty times a day; engaging with social media like twitter or instagram means that constant interruptions in our day, our lives, and even our conversations, has become the norm; advertisements, which serve not our needs but the greed of unbridled capitalism, continue to deceive, invade, and intrude into our every day life. Media are widely misused in ways that undercut the dignity of its viewers and listeners, presenting people as commodities to be used, rather than as sacred persons created in the image of God. Many media messages today promote revenge, violence, hatred, lust, materialism, prejudice, error, illusions about happiness, and sensationalism. The constant availability of entertainment online, and the growth of tablets, wi-fi, and internet access, means we can constantly gratify our desire to be entertained because we are not limited to reading the books on our bookshelf. Even music on our cell phones can limit our connection to self by filling our walking silence or daily drives with music. Digital media “fill the cracks” or spaces in our lives that used to be free for reflection, silence, or just being present to one’s self.

As a Daughter of Saint Paul who is blogging a book about discernment and occasionally tweets about it, I don’t just enjoy digital technology and the possibilities that the internet offer for connection. I value the media in general and digital media in particular for the ways they help us to connect with one another, build up the solidarity of the human community, and for their potential for evangelization. The media are awesome avenues where God’s grace can reach people in ways both new and old! But for me personally, the key to how I choose to use the media is being mindful about it—in a way that assists my prayer life,  discernment, and relationships, rather than becoming obstacles to them.

Especially as an introvert, I easily become scattered or distracted if I have constant “noise” in my life. I couldn’t possibly make the time to use every form of media available to me. Every form of media, and each social network I join, is for a specific purpose that I have prayed about. In using media, I seek to practice the principles of discernment. The use of media is an integrated part of my day and often part of my relationships. I’m also not afraid to disconnect: I turn off my cell phone when I enter the chapel for adoration or Mass, and keep it off during my retreats, whether they’re monthly one-day retreats or annual eight-day retreats.

Here are a few questions that I ask myself about daily priorities that are helpful in thinking about my use of media from within the context of daily life:

  • Am I always “online” or “connected” all day long, every day? Every evening? Seven days a week? How often do I give myself breaks from the frequent interruption or stimulation provided by the smartphone?
  • How much silence do I need or want every day or every week to be able to pray, to remain aware of my own thoughts and feelings, to be “at my best”? (This answer varies widely according to individuals.)
    • Do I feel my life is in balance, that I give the most attention to the most important people and parts of my life?
    • Where (and with whom) do I want to spend more time?
    • Where (or with whom) do I want to spend less time?
  • How do I choose to spend my time: with God, with family and loved ones, with work, with myself (including silent time taken to nurture myself and to relax).
  • How do I use various media at home, at work, in my relationships and throughout my day? What purpose does each form of media serve in my life? What purpose do I want each form to serve?
  • Smart phone
    • Calls
    • Texts
    • Messages
    • Retrieving information
    • Apps
    • Podcasts
  • Social media (go through each platform I use, whether on my computer and/or smartphone)
  • Music
  • TV/internet streaming/movies
  • Video games
  • Any other computer use: surfing, chat, research, etc.
  • How can I see using each form of media to help me grow in my relationship with God, with myself, and with others? Do I need to make changes, set limits, or add media to my life in order to live God’s invitations? (e.g. How often do I check my Twitter feed? Two of my favorite podcasts help me to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, or reflect on or pray with Sunday’s Scripture readings. Two of my  most-used apps is the Catholic News Agency and the Pope App, which keep me informed about religious issues, and also give me endless prayer intentions. Or, in my love for film, do I balance what I watch: occasionally a popcorn flick, often an independent film that is spiritually enriching or helps me understand certain issues. Some people give up Facebook or movies for Lent. Others don’t check their email over the weekend or in the evenings.)

How do you use media to assist you in your discernment journey? I’d love to hear your thoughts about how using the media and technology in your daily life affects your spiritual life, and how your relationship with God affects your use of media.

Mary, Model Discerner

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

As mentioned earlier, when we discern we pay special attention to where we are at the present moment. We don’t begin our discernment from where we’d like to be, or from unrealistic expectations, but from where we are right now.

Because who we are and where we are has been shaped by the past, we also prayed with our past—with significant moments in our lives that have shaped us as persons, and with significant moments of grace in our lives. We may need to continue to pray about significant moments in our lives, but as we go forward in our discernment, it is time to bring all of who we are, here and now—the present—to prayer. In the past two months, we been reflecting on cultivating a listening attitude in our daily life, listening intently intently to God speaking to us through:

  • our prayer
  • our deep desires
  • our relationships
  • our conversations with others
  • our current situation
  • the Church
  • the needs of the world.

But we face any number of obstacles in this deeper listening. In the next few posts, we’ll look at some of those obstacles that can “stump” us or detour us on our discernment journey, and how we can respond to or overcome these obstacles.

The Annunciation by Henry Ossawa Tanner, 1898.

The Annunciation by Henry Ossawa Tanner, 1898.

Our first response in facing any obstacle on our discernment journey (or our spiritual journey) is to entrust our spiritual lives and any special intentions to Mary, the Mother of Jesus. This is especially true for our discernment. Mary is the disciple who most faithfully listened to and responded to God’s invitations in her life, and she wants to accompany us as we seek to do the same.  The Founder of the Daughters of Saint Paul, Blessed James Alberione, used to say, “Mary is the way to go to Jesus, the easiest way.” Mary wants to draw us closer to her Son, so we can ask her in a very particular way to accompany us throughout the rest of our discernment, and ultimately, the rest of our lives as we seek to live God’s call in fidelity as she did.

Suggestion for Prayer

The Angelus is a beautiful and rich prayer that is so helpful for discerners, as it helps us to recall the moment when Mary received and responded with her generous “yes” to God’s call. Traditionally, the Angelus is prayed three times a day—morning, noon, and evening. Make time today to pray the Angelus at least once today. (If you aren’t familiar with this beautiful prayer, you can pray it with this lovely music version:

You can also find the Angelus in almost any Catholic prayer book. Once you have been praying the Angelus for a while, you may enjoy meditating on a beautiful work of art depicting the Annunciation while you are praying: http://calltoprayer.blogspot.com/

Can God Speak to Us Through Others?

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

06G Pixabay choice 3Can God speak to us through others? Yes! Actually, an important part of listening to God is recognizing that sometimes God will speak or invite us through other people. As human beings, we are called to share life together in our family. But we also have other communities that we are part of: our circle of friends, school, work, and other groups of people we hang out with. Our parish as our faith-community is especially important.

We really do not know ourselves well nor mature fully until we experience ourselves as part of a community.

Others challenge us to give fully of ourselves. Without being stretched by others’ needs and demands, we cannot know our true strengths. And we do not truly know our weaknesses until we rub elbows with the people in our lives who push us to our limits and sometimes beyond. Our ego—with our false sense of ourselves—often blinds us to our greatest gifts and our greatest weaknesses. But others can see us clearly, without the blind spots.

I can think of a time when I fooled myself into thinking I was a pretty patient person…but then I found myself in a very irritating situation—and I suddenly discovered that I was not patient at all, it’s just that I hadn’t encountered a situation where my patience had really been tested. Living and working closely with others is one of the best ways to help us to get to know ourselves.

God often helps us to see and understand ourselves and our situation better by speaking through others—friends, co-workers, enemies, bosses, and acquaintances. Sometimes just a random comment from someone who doesn’t like us very much can help us to understand something about ourselves: how we come across, something we are particularly good or bad at, etc. If we are open, sometimes we will discover that God is speaking to us or inviting us through our conversation with someone.

When we are discerning, it can be really helpful to sort things out with someone we trust: a family member, friend, a mentor, or someone in our faith community.

How To Pray the Examen Prayer

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

imag0079Here is an example of how you can pray the examen during an Hour of Adoration or a longer time of prayer—perhaps in the evening.

1. Place Yourself in God’s Presence

This is a moment like that of the Transfiguration on Mount Tabor: Jesus is here before you, wishing to bathe you in the radiance of his love, wanting to speak to you. This is a moment of very personal encounter between you and Jesus. Take this moment to rest in the light of his gaze of unconditional love for you. Allow his love to fill you—perhaps with awareness of his presence, or peace, or joy—whatever grace he wishes to give you at this moment.

2. In Gratitude

In the light of his love, look over your day or the past week, with gratitude. What are the gifts you have received this day/week? Give thanks to God for the blessings that immediately spring to mind. Now look deeper. Have you received a special grace this day or week for which you want to thank God? A hidden gift that you took for granted until now? Or a little joy that reminded you of how loved you are? Remember also to thank God for the special gifts that he has given you, in your person—whether it’s a talent to serve or to cook, or to listen, or your patience, or a gift to encourage others… Thank God for these gifts.

3. Petition

Confident in God’s desire to draw you closer to himself, now ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart and to help you gently look over the day or week in the light of his grace and your response to his grace.

4. Gently Review Your Day/Week

Look through your life in these days/week. A particular event might spring to mind right away—that might be God’s invitation to spend some time with him reflecting on it. If nothing comes to mind, look through the events of your day, especially noticing what’s going on inside of you—your motivations and feelings.

Good questions to ask yourself:

  • When did you feel loved today? How were you able to show love to someone else?
  • What drew you closer to God today?
  • What drew you away from God today?
  • What kind of moods were present in you today? Why?
  • What regrets do you carry for today?
  • Where were God’s invitations to you today? How did you respond?
  • Do any events seem to be unfinished, requiring some reflection or making you feel uncomfortable, angry, or fearful? How might God be inviting you in this situation?

5. Renewal of love and resolve

Express whatever is in your heart to Jesus—how you feel about the events of this day or week, how you have grown closer to him, asking forgiveness for your sinfulness and failures. In a particular way, ask him to be with you in the coming day or week.

Close with a prayer for the grace to live in his love, such as the Our Father.

3D Listening: Connecting with God Every Day

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

Various spiritualities offer support in living in greater awareness of God’s presence in our day to day life. You can get really creative with this, depending on your schedule and what helps you! I hope that you share in the comments below what you are already doing, or what you might try to increase your awareness of God’s love for you daily. Here are a few practices that I have found useful.

* Begin the day with meditation on a Scripture passage that concludes with a preview of how I want to live what I meditated on through this day. As I look forward to my day and the responsibilities I will face, I resolve how to  respond with love in the various situations that might arise

* Use everyday events to remind myself to pray a one-line pray (or aspiration) frequently. For example, I  set my watch to beep on the hour. When my watch is silenced, I try to remember to pray every time I stand up from my desk. I’ve also used other reminders, such as beginning or switching to a new project/file, as a reminder to pray

* Use part (or all) of my lunch break for prayer: go to Mass, pray the Angelus, make a spiritual communion or visit Jesus in the Eucharist in a nearby church, or take a prayer-walk (during which you can simply rejoice in God’s love for you, or pray the Rosary, etc.). I know people whose work is flexible enough that they can stop at 3 PM to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet

* Use times when I have to make a decision or am not sure what to do to pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit

* Close my day by putting on my “Sherlock Holmes” hat to look for one way that God revealed himself to me today. It might not be obvious or expected. For example, God often “speaks” to me through nature, such as a chickadee that chirps a greeting. A friend’s support at just the right moment, a film or song that deeply moves us, or a sudden insight—any of these can reveal God’s love.

Often, at the end of these mini prayer breaks, I will ask Jesus to guide me to respond to his call through the next hour/minute/project.

A favorite prayer practice that I use daily is the examen, and I hope to blog more in detail about that next.

The Most Important Thing To Do When Discerning

/ Sr. Marie Paul Curley / Leave a comment

The most important thing we can do during our discernment is to listen deeply. Listening is a skill that most of us can improve in, as we tend to talk more than listen. Even if we consider ourselves good listeners with our friends and family, we may still need to learn an attitude of listening in our every day life. In “3D listening,” we seek to listen to God who speaks to us and invites us through:

  • our lives and our whole being (our thoughts, feelings, gifts, limitations, desires, past and present)
  • the people in our lives (including their needs)
  • the “voice” and needs of the community
  • the Church
  • the guidance of a mentor or guide
  • our circumstances
  • the world around us (including the needs of the world)

A really helpful tool for 3D listening is the examen, which we’ll look at in the next post. But one of the keys to learning how to listen more deeply to our lives is to make time and space in our lives to listen.

We will find it very difficult—if not impossible—to listen deeply if we:

  • are constantly running from one thing to the next
  • don’t make time in our day or week for reflection or a meditative/contemplative prayer
  • don’t take time to genuinely relax regularly
  • don’t create quiet moments in our day or week (e.g. our lives are filled with constant “noise” — the radio is always on in the car, the TV is always on in the home, we can’t take a walk without headphones, we are always on the phone with friends, etc.)
  • neglect to put smart limits around our media use (e.g. we never “unplug,” we don’t take breaks from twitter, work email, news updates, etc., or we’re always listening to music or talk radio)
  • work excessively (e.g. workaholism, always being “on call,” or being so absorbed in our work that we only think of ourselves in terms of what we “do” and not who we are)

Many of these obstacles are easy to overcome, depending on our personality and our circumstances. Because of the culture we live in, many people don’t even think about creating quiet in their lives, and yet when they do, they find it can make a big difference in their awareness and appreciate of the beauty of their own lives.

Listening to God is possible only when we take time to pray and nurture our relationship with God. To do that, we need to create occasional (or regular) oases of serenity and quiet. Even the way we pray can prevent us from deeper listening, if we do all the talking and we don’t take time to listen.

Listening prayer can be as simple as starting or concluding our daily prayer with a few moments of quiet, doing lectio divina, or checking in with God and ourselves at the end of the day using the examen.

Follow-up

  • Which obstacles to listening do you struggle with?
  • Choose one way to improve your listening and start doing it today.